You and Me & Chasing Little G

Wife

#WifeTalkWednesday: My Ovaries Aren't Your Business!

Wife Talk WednesdaySabra GilbertComment

One thing that has driven me nuts since getting married is that everyone seems to have an opinion on when you should start or shouldn't start a family. There are plenty of times that any comment, either positive or negative, could be incredibly hurtful. Especially on something that can be such a delicate subject.

That young wife you may be telling to wait could already be 11 weeks pregnant.

That 30 year old woman that you just told "isn't getting any younger" may have suffered silently through 7 miscarriages already.

"Puppies are such great practice, but don't be thinking about little kiddos yet!" to the woman who may have been "thinking" about those kiddos for the last year and a half unsuccessfully.

So many things that people say off hand to married (or unmarried!!) woman can be the worst thing that a person can hear that day. And if they are anything like me, possibly hold on to it for days on end letting it randomly bounce around their head. And these resonating words become etched on that poor woman's heart.

So I urge you today to remember that another woman's reproductive plan isn't any of your business! She may be your best friend, daughter, aunt, sister, sister in law, or even just a stranger on the street. There are so many different things that you are invading on other than just their baby plans.

You are inviting yourself to know of a pregnancy before the family is ready to share.

You are inviting yourself into the woman's story of waiting, loss. or indecision on when to have kids.

You are inviting yourself into the talks between a husband and wife on when they are going to expand their family

You are inviting yourself directly into the bedroom of a married couple, and you have absolutely no reason to be there. 

Don't worry. I completely understand why you have invited yourself into these places. You're curious on when you get to start planning our baby shower, or if you can plan a raging alcohol filled party and not feel guilty when I can't drink. But I promise you that there are better ways to approach the whole situation, other than your lightly veiled side comment.  And I beg you to use those ideas instead.

So what are your awkward baby related conversations? 

How To Make A Budget You Will Actually Use

Sabra GilbertComment
Budgets are tedious things. No one likes them or likes to use them. But unfortunately, they are something that is always needed. They show you what you have to pay  for the month, what your income is, and where you can get away with tightening or loosening up corners. They can help you set goals or see where you repeatedly fail your goals.

As awesome as they can be, setting up one that is easy to use and that you keep wanting to use is nearly impossible.

I'm insanely excited that Simeon and I have made it through the month using our new budget. Which is really good because the amount of hours that went into getting it just right was ridiculous. But that was mostly because I wasn't organized to begin with and then some of the bits were quite tedious. So honestly, the first thing you are going to need when you go to set up your own is a couple hours to give to the task. It will be worth it because once you set up your template, you are set for months.

You're gonna want to get all the details together first so that you can get organized and make your budget look exactly like how you want it to.



Ok, so first. Supplies.

Notepad
Pencil
Paystubs
Past Bills
Laptop with Access to Google Drive

Steps to Success

1| Write out every single way your household makes money in one list.
     And make sure to have Misc. category for whenever you are lucky to be gifted with money or random things happen. you never know when it will come in handy and it encompasses all the things that you don't think of now.

2| Write out every bill that you have. 
     This includes every annual expenses like Hulu, Savings Transfers, monthly tithing, and anything that you pay for monthly. These are the ones that shouldn't really change that much.

3| Write out your other categories that are able to flex every month. This is gas, groceries, and fun money.

4| Really sort out your lists, you don't want to be having to rearranging things a lot in your actual budget.

5| Open up Google Drive & Select Google Sheets
     With using Google Drive, you can share your budget with anyone else that might be editing it as well, so that the burden doesn't have to just fall on only one person. You can also share it on your different laptops, and there is an app for your phone. It makes it super awesome to be able to do it on hand instead of waiting until later.

6| Put your Lists into their own tables on the excel sheet. 
     I would recommend not putting them under each other like I did. It would be easier to see it all across instead of heading down and across.


7| Put in your estimates in one column, the way you are paying and the date in another, and a column for your actual payment that month.
        It may seem like an extreme amount of categories, but trust me, you want to have everything at just one glance. It's wonderful

8| Budget Zero your estimates
        Make sure that all your money has a place to go. At all times.

9| Conditional Format your Actual payment
        This is one of my favorite parts of my budget. Because in a glance I can see where I can move money around. I make it go green if I am under for that month, clear if it equals what I estimated, and red if it goes over.

10| Enjoy your Budget!!
        Decorate it! Make is something that you love being able to see.

If you have any questions, I would love to help! Leave one here or email me at BecomingAGilbert[@]outlook.com

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Reasons Why Being a Student & a Wife is Awesome

Sabra GilbertComment
People always seem to be in disbelief that Simeon and I are married and still in College. Something that used to be the norm (I mean people used to go to college to find a husband!!) is now strange and alien. They think that it would cause more problems than it solves, which for me has been the exact opposite. I mean, don't get me wrong, sometimes having my husband doing homework on the couch next to me can be extremely distracting, especially if one of us just really doesn't want to do our homework while the other really needs to get something done. But for the most part, it's pretty awesome!!



So here are the reasons that I love being married in college. . .

1| He keeps me Focused - I have a really short attention span. It's seriously insanely tiny. And Simeon is really good at remembering to bring me back from a distraction and focus on studying or homework.

2| Tag teaming Chores - A major thing that I will do to distract me from homework is finishing a major cleaning project or just start cleaning to avoid homework. Instead, Simeon steps in and either cleans up the mess or tells me that it can wait until later.

3| At home Tutor - Unfortunately, Physics and Math are things that I need to know to get my Biology degree. These are the things that Simeon is the best at, so he tries to help me through the classes that I struggle through.

4| Living Together - I know that some people are fine with living together before marriage, but it wasn't something that Simeon and I were not going to be OK with before we got married. But Living together relieves sooo much stress from trying to find time to hang out together and it is just no longer a big deal.

5| He relaxes me - I'm a high stress kind of person, and Simeon is insanely low key. He is sooo great at making me stop and breath and relax and it helps that he is here most of the time to help me relax to.

And other than these reasons that are mostly just perks, I'm crazy in love with this man so why wouldn't I just want to marry him as soon as possible? We waited a while after we had already decided that we wanted to get married, because we didn't think that it was the right time yet. So when we got married is what made the most sense for us and there really was no reason to continue waiting to get married. To us, if we were going to do it anyway, what would be the benefit of waiting two more years?


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