You and Me & Chasing Little G

Christian Marraige

Introducing: Wife Talk Wednesday

Wife Talk WednesdaySabra GilbertComment

I'm extremely excited to be introducing Wife Talk Wednesday! I thought it would be fun to have a regular installment every week to talk about different things in married life. I plan to cover the serious topics to the crazy topics from setting boundaries with your husband while you work at home to why I game with my husband!

Introducing: #WifeTalkWednesday || Becoming Sabra GIlbert

Marriage is a crazy adventure. Which leads to finding yourself in a ton of crazy situations that you didn't expect beforehand. Trying to balance who washes the dishes and who cleans the toilet, figuring out how to share a bed with a blanket hog, or finding out how to balance working and home life. (Is it just me or does that only ever seem to be a problem for woman?)

First up, Why I Play League of Legends with My Husband (even when I suck at computer games!)

But I would also love to hear questions and topics from you as well! Are you married and need some advice? Not married and just curious about something?

Send me an email at BecomingAGilbert@outlook.com

Reasons Why Being a Student & a Wife is Awesome

Sabra GilbertComment
People always seem to be in disbelief that Simeon and I are married and still in College. Something that used to be the norm (I mean people used to go to college to find a husband!!) is now strange and alien. They think that it would cause more problems than it solves, which for me has been the exact opposite. I mean, don't get me wrong, sometimes having my husband doing homework on the couch next to me can be extremely distracting, especially if one of us just really doesn't want to do our homework while the other really needs to get something done. But for the most part, it's pretty awesome!!



So here are the reasons that I love being married in college. . .

1| He keeps me Focused - I have a really short attention span. It's seriously insanely tiny. And Simeon is really good at remembering to bring me back from a distraction and focus on studying or homework.

2| Tag teaming Chores - A major thing that I will do to distract me from homework is finishing a major cleaning project or just start cleaning to avoid homework. Instead, Simeon steps in and either cleans up the mess or tells me that it can wait until later.

3| At home Tutor - Unfortunately, Physics and Math are things that I need to know to get my Biology degree. These are the things that Simeon is the best at, so he tries to help me through the classes that I struggle through.

4| Living Together - I know that some people are fine with living together before marriage, but it wasn't something that Simeon and I were not going to be OK with before we got married. But Living together relieves sooo much stress from trying to find time to hang out together and it is just no longer a big deal.

5| He relaxes me - I'm a high stress kind of person, and Simeon is insanely low key. He is sooo great at making me stop and breath and relax and it helps that he is here most of the time to help me relax to.

And other than these reasons that are mostly just perks, I'm crazy in love with this man so why wouldn't I just want to marry him as soon as possible? We waited a while after we had already decided that we wanted to get married, because we didn't think that it was the right time yet. So when we got married is what made the most sense for us and there really was no reason to continue waiting to get married. To us, if we were going to do it anyway, what would be the benefit of waiting two more years?


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Marriage: It's Work. And it's Worth It!

Sabra GilbertComment


It's all marriage this and marriage that.

There are marriage retreats, marriage Bible studies, websites dedicated to strengthening marriages and encouraging wives... what's the big deal, anyway?

 I mean, the definition of marriage seems to be up for debate these days. Not only is the definition changing, but fewer people are choosing to get married, and even fewer are staying married.

As Christians, what's the point?

Christians believe that marriage was created by God. Just look at the Bible. The Bible begins and ends with a wedding, after all- first in the garden of Eden between Adam and Eve, and then in Revelation between Christ and the Church. Marriage bookends all of human history.

Marriage was God's idea in the first place. Sometimes we think the greatest enemy of marriage is adultery, or losing passion for one another, or focusing too much on the kids.

Sometimes we push it even further outside our own front doors and think that same-sex marriage is the enemy, no-fault divorce is the enemy, or media or pornography or unrealistic expectations set by romantic comedies are the enemy.

 Honestly?

Yes, those things are harmful to a healthy marriage and to marriage as a whole. But the true enemy of marriage?

 Me.

Yep.

The true enemy of marriage is my own selfishness.

And that's really scary, because I am very, very selfish.

When I got married, I kind of thought that I'd be more... fulfilled. I thought I would have someone around to listen to me, to make me smile, to help me with the stuff of life.

(See the issue there? Me, me, me!)


Blissfully unaware...

Marriage is about nakedness and vulnerability. Your husband will see all of your sin, and you'll see all of his. Marriage gives you the opportunity to repent, to serve, to grow in holiness... and to help your spouse do the same.

My darling Trevor is not perfect (believe it or not). He has his faults, to be sure. Of course, I didn't know all those faults before we got married. And after I found out just how imperfect he is, I had two choices. I could throw in the towel, or work at it anyway.

It is work. It really really is. And sometimes that work is rewarding and all sunshiney and glorious.

More often, though, it hurts. I wasn't prepared for the hurting part.




The first time Trevor sat down with me and told me that my behavior was off base, I reacted badly.

We'd spent the day with my sisters... and my sisters sometimes get the best of me. They got the best of me that afternoon, anyway. I just did things the way I always did things- I snapped back with a hurtful, sarcastic comment or two.

On the drive home, Trevor called me out on it.

I was mad. Who was he to think he understood the complicated relationship between my sisters and I?! Who does he think he is?! 

Well, he rightly thought he was my husband.

He's dedicated to making me a better person (just as I am to him).

And sometimes, yes. That hurts.


As you're planning for or beginning this new life- this new marriage- don't fall into the trap that your marriage should always be pain-free, full of joy and good lighting. That's just not the way it is.

Your marriage will result in hurt feelings, in disappointment, in some confrontation. Things won't always seem so wonderful.

 But you will grow. You'll grow towards holiness and become a better person for Christ.

If you're called to marriage, remember this. Marriage isn't about you. It's not about having all your needs met (only Jesus can do that, honey). It's about learning to love as you have been loved by your Creator. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Definitely. 







Ally spends most of her days surrounded by coffee cups and registration forms, with wild turkeys and wilder middle-schoolers out the window. She writes about life at a Bible Camp, counts her blessings, and rambles about faith at A Home Called Shalom.  photo Signature_zps2e4c1f35.png