I like to think that I have everything under control.
I don't need help.
I can add on an extra project.
I despise asking for help.
I want to do everything on my own. Fulfill my own projects and keep my schedule as jam packed as I can possibly get it.
To feel accomplished.
To have meaning.
To make others proud of me.
To boast of my "awesome-ness."
Sometimes, when the pressure gets to be too much. When my to-do list is miles long. I just break down. I run out of energy to hold back tears and just want to lay in bed doing nothing.
Harry Potter gets thrown into my DVD player and the pile of things to do just grows as I refuse to do them.
It's quite ridiculous really.
Why do we people think that we can do everything ourselves? That asking for help is such a terrible thing. Why is it so hard to even pray to God that I need help? That I don't know how i'm going to get this or that done. That I don't even know how to start a project or what to write next. How to budget my money to get a car? Or where to start on packing? How can I afford to get this and still save the absolute highest amount of money at the same time?
Why do people put this kind of pressure on themselves?
I know it usually just makes me want to scream.
I am so blessed to have a God who understands my weaknesses. Who sent me an amazing boyfriend to tell me that everything is going to be alright and remind me that God has already figured out every single little detail of the next two months for me. To tell me that its ok to not do everything myself and that relying on other people is not a completely terrible thing to do. I don't need to stress about this little detail right now. I have an entire month to figure it out still!
I love how Simeon lovingly tells me that I'm crazy to think that I don't need anyone's help and he is always there to talk me through any situation.
I enjoy that his friends come up with funny stories to tell me, even though I barely know them.
I have such a great support system around me. My friends. My Simeon. My family. My God.
I have no reason to be stressed, instead I should focus on how incredibly blessed I am.
Blessed, not Stressed.