Becoming Sabra Gilbert

#WifeTalkWednesday: My Take on Godly Submission

Wife Talk WednesdaySabra GilbertComment

I didn't grow up as a believer in Christ or the Word. And with this I then grew up with my own views on how I wanted to be portrayed in my marriage when I was older. I didn't want kids. I was going to be a career woman. If my husband expected me to do all the "womanly" duties by myself, he was going to be in for a giant shock!

In my young teenage days, I was probably everything that was horrible about extremest feminists. Stay home with the kids? HAHAHA!! Having kids in general? HAHAHA!! Kids were a distraction. Staying at home is a joke. I was gonna be a strong, independent career woman!! Typical gender stereotypes were not for me. I could do ANYTHING a man could do, and probably do it better. I was determined to be the dominate in any couple. And if that was ever challenged in any relationship I was in, he got dumped pretty fast.

And then I was introduced to Christ. And the Word. And the way I had decided to live my life was challenged. Like, directly challenged by Ephesians 5:22-24.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." - Ephesians 5:22-24

Now, while I was obviously not a married woman at the time I started hearing about this, marriage and submission always seem to be hot topics in woman's bible studies and something that we hear about all the time. And at first, I hated it. Some bible studies will even ask you to start considering it in how you approach dating. Going against the mainstream trend of girls asking guys out and taking the upper hand in relationships. 

Like seriously? How was I supposed to do that?!? Let go of my control and let a guy control me? 

What I didn't understand was that submitting in the bible is a completely different version than what people call submitting today. I'm not supposed to just be below my husband and go along with whatever he decides.

We're a team, but every team still needs a team captain. Someone who is going to listen his teammates and consider their opinions in all decisions. And let them make decisions as well. When it comes to getting Fox, we were originally on different sides. Simeon wanted me to get a puppy, but he also didn't really want to get the puppy until we moved. I just wanted the puppy. But we listened to each other and compromised on not making a true decision until we met the puppies and saw if the owner would be willing to hold a puppy for us even though she had originally said first come first serve. (Obviously, other things happen and we brought him home that day instead!).

Woman are asked to submit because men are far more likely to take logic into a decision along with emotions, while a lot of women put emotion above all else. I know I do.  If it was up to me, I would have just barreled forward in getting this puppy without thought of how, what, when, or where. I would have brought him home with only a pintrest board of training tips and a trello board of puppy to do and to buys. Which would have worked about half of the time.  Simeon was the one who thought a few months ago that it would be a good idea to start saving money for our puppy. And holds me back from spending money on un-needed things. (you know, multiple sweaters, ALL THE TREATs & toys!) and instead we have gotten what he absolutely needs for now, with plans to slowly expand to the more fun stuff. 

We balance each other out.

Logic-wise, Simeon probably never would have gotten a puppy on his own. He didn't feel any emotional connection to the puppies until he had them in his arms. Puppies take time and money and commitment that just doesn't make sense if logic was the only deciding factor.

Emotionally, I would have dived right into puppy mommy hood and not worried about if I would have actually been able to afford it. Or without a game plan for the early puppy days. 

I brought Fox into our lives, but Simeon made the plans for him. 

Submitting is

. . . listening to my husband while he explains the logical points of our decisions. 

. . . listening for his lead in our Spiritual decisions.

. . . pointing out my side of any disagreement in a caring manner.

. . . loving my husband enough to softly point out his flaws and helping him grow.

. . . loving my husband enough to not hate him for pointing out my flaws and helping me to grow.

. . . realizing that I can't do this all on my own. That I have a partner to make decisions, changes, and take on puppy parenthood with. 

PS - Since I talked about fox so much, I thought I would throw in a few photos for you :)